How Can I Find the Right Therapist for Me?

If you're thinking about therapy — to heal a relationship, work through trauma, transition to a new life stage, better your mental health, or vent to someone — choosing a therapist who suits you is the first challenge to clear.

The connection between you and the therapist, researchers have learned, has a potentially significant influence on how much you've grown. That's why it's essential to be informed, ask questions, and listen to your reactions as you search for the right therapist for you.

If you are new to therapy, finding the right mental health professional can be daunting. However, having some goals and tips ahead of time can help you make an informed decision about the best professional for you. Join us for tips we'll share to enhance your experience.

Once you’ve established what type of therapy will be most helpful for you, the next challenge is figuring out how exactly your therapist can help you.

Here are tried-and-true steps to help you stay focused on your goals as you look for a therapist.

Plan what you're aiming for in advance.

You may or may not know where to start, but you’ve made a decision: You want to find a therapist.

Think about what you want to achieve, and where and how you need help. When you and your therapist collaborate toward the same aims, you are likely to feel more hopeful.

Having a sense of what you want to work on can allow your therapist to understand what you believe you need to work on and get things going.

If you think it's medication you could use to alleviate symptoms, you will need to locate a psychiatrist or practitioner who can prescribe medication.

You’ll also want to consider which type of therapy could best meet your own needs.

Suppose you've heard that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has helped others with your condition. In that case, you can search for a therapist certified in or trained in those treatments.

Suppose you need to be in a supportive environment with people who understand what you're going through. In that case, you might consider looking for a therapist who is involved with support groups or group therapy sessions.

Your goals may evolve as you work with a therapist. You don’t need to fear or tiptoe around discussing changing the direction of your treatment plan, as your needs change.

Consult your insurance and finances.

Therapy can be expensive, so it's essential to review your finances and determine your budget. It's also a good idea to see if your insurance plan assists with mental health care.

If you intend to pay for therapy with your insurance plan, one of your first steps will be to search the network the plan provides for a therapist.

Another situation can occur when therapists provide sliding scale or free services.

Persons can also explore trainee programs that serve as a bridge to higher education institutions, such as colleges or universities. These programs typically involve student interns in good standing who are enrolled in accredited degrees or credentialed programs. They receive clinical supervision from licensed professionals and/or credentialed faculty during their service provision.

Ask someone you trust

Another way to find a therapist who could be a good fit for you is through a referral by a friend, coworker, or doctor you trust.

While a recommendation can be a good launching point, it’s helpful to acknowledge that you and the person who gave you the name may have different therapy needs and goals. So what works for them might not be great for you.

Telehealth options can be a valuable resource if you lack access to personal referrals or don't know anyone in therapy.

Explore local resources

Some resources might be available if you belong to a specific community.

Some examples include:

·         University counseling service users

·         a job site wellness/eap program

·         local advocacy organization, group, or individual therapy

·         faith-based treatment through a place of worship, such as a church, synagogue, or mosque

And depending on where you live, there may be local support groups or organizations that you can attend at neighborhood meeting spots, such as a community center.

Use a reliable online database.

Many mental health organizations keep current, searchable listings of licensed therapists.

You can start your search simply by plugging in your ZIP code to get a list of counselors in your area. You might also be able to find specialists, like marriage and family counselors or therapists who specialize in drug and alcohol use.

Below are five of the most popular online search tools.

·         American Psychological Association.

·         American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists

·         LGBTQ+ Caucus of the American Psychiatric Association

Find Groups that work on your issue

If you're seeking a therapist who specializes in treating a specific mental health condition, you may be able to locate local professionals through a national organization, network, or helpline.

Here are some organizations that provide search tools to help you find a therapist specializing in your area:

·         National Alliance for Eating Disorders for more information.

·         Anxiety and Depression Association of America

·         National Center for PTSD

Further, many workplace organizations and trade unions have resources to help you connect with people who can address mental health needs.

For instance, the International Association of Fire Fighters assists with mental health, PTSD, and substance use.

Question the things you care about

I do believe it’s often good to go into therapy with no specific expectations at all.

Starting therapy with an openness and vulnerability can help you identify what areas you want to work on. Sometimes, the places we think we need to work are only the symptoms, and the work occurs when we delve deeper.

That said, however, it's crucial to inquire of your therapist whether they are fit for you.

When you first meet your therapist, online, on the phone, or in person, have a few notes that you can refer back to to remind you of anything you want to ask about.

The American Psychological Association offers a few sample questions you might ask a therapist during your first session:

·         Do you hold a license as a psychologist in this state?

·         How long have you been in practice?

·         How many people do you work with who are dealing with the issue you want to address?

·         What's your specialty, and how did you first get interested in it?

·         What kind of treatments have been [most or least helpful for] helping you resolve [the problem you’d like to resolve]?

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America offers questions like these:

·         If I require medication, are you able to prescribe it, or do you have a referral?

·         Do you have access to telehealth services?

·         How long until I start to feel better?

·         What should we do if our treatments aren’t working?

(Note: If you have a history of abuse from someone in a position of power, or have experienced trauma or racism, you may wish to ask questions that help you determine whether a therapist is both culturally informed and sensitive to your experiences.)

Pay attention to red flags.

Therapy is supposed to be a place of welcome and acceptance for all feelings that crop up. Whether you're seeing a therapist for the first time in person or virtually, carry some mindfulness to any sensations that make you uncomfortable.

Some red flags to be on the lookout for may be:

·         Are you getting a sense of physical discomfort in the room? Is it private and safe seeming?

·         Do you have an excessive amount of feelings of anxiety or panic? A little anxiety or nervousness is entirely understandable. Still, you're going to want to let your therapist know if you're feeling like you might be on the verge of an anxiety or panic attack.

·         Do you feel as though you can tell your therapist everything? Do they make you feel judged or uncomfortable in any way?

·         Does your therapist give you their complete focus and attention during your flows? If your current therapist is unable to adjust their style to make you feel heard, it could be the right time to move on.

Pay special attention to how you're reacting to this all yourself

Whatever the professional accreditations of your therapist, what matters most is that you feel safe and comfortable with them. Will therapy be painful sometimes? Possibly. After all, you will probably be addressing hard, private matters. However, if you're uncomfortable with your therapist for another reason, it is O.K. to find someone else. You don't need a good reason to change therapists. Be uncomfortable enough with that.

Use the above as possible red flags, as this will help you evaluate whether your feelings are just your gut or normal nerves from starting therapy. If you don’t feel that you can be honest with them, or that they aren’t fully hearing you, that could be reason enough to stop seeing them.

Here are the things you might pay attention to as you speak with your therapist:

·         Does the therapist talk over you, or do they pay close attention to the words you are saying?

·         OT – Is the therapist on time for the appointment, respecting your time in the process?

·         Is the therapist dismissive or minimizing of your issues?

·         Do you feel acknowledged, respected, and heard in the session?

The bottom line

When searching for a therapist, consider practical factors such as licensure, insurance coverage, location, and specialties.

Your friends, colleagues, and healthcare professionals may provide good referrals. You can also search for options through search tools offered by organizations that pertain to whatever is of concern to you.

You might consider whether the companies fit with your goals and questions once you have narrowed the field. That way, you can be certain that you and your therapist click, and you are together in your treatment plan.

But it all comes back to actually finding the right therapist for you. Human connection is the most potent ingredient in effective therapy, and you can foster that connection whether you are speaking with your therapist in person, on the phone, or over the internet.