The holidays are a time for joy and visiting friends and family, but they can also be a source of stress, anxiety, and depression. Here’s practical advice on how to harness the season’s emotional challenges and specific tips on caring for your mental health.
Manage holiday expectations
The usual advice is to find a way to calibrate expectations for the holidays. We often feel the mismatch between our current reality and what we believe is appropriate. When the holidays arrive, this can be especially acute. One who grew up in a big family may feel that a small gathering is lonely. No one is even aware they’re mentally comparing the two. Concentrating on what you are thankful for now.
Let go of the fantasy.
People need to learn to lower their expectations of others. We can all have the fantasy that everybody will have a wonderful time, but realistically, there’s often tensions in families.” It probably won’t be a fantasized version of the holidays.” You know to temper your expectations by understanding that certain family members may always be difficult. You can’t control how other people act, but you can change your expectations and reactions to them, which can feel powerful.
Check-in with yourself
How to Monitor Your Reactions One way to regulate your reactions is to check in with yourself periodically. It’s a way of tracking your emotional state and your well-being. Think of it as a stress, anxiety, or mood scale. You rate your feelings with a score from one to ten.
At a certain level—whatever level you decide—take a break. Something enjoyable and relaxing is recommended. People should start with things like listening to music, exercising, taking deep breaths, or doing any activity or hobby that delights them. The goal is to cultivate self-awareness so people can practice self-care before they get to an emotional hot (or boiling) point.
Have a plan
Along with normal self-monitoring, it’s helpful to have a concrete plan for responding when you’re filled with stress, sadness, or anxiety during the holidays. It could be calling a friend, walking, listening to music, reading, or watching your favorite TV show. It’s a solitary activity unique to you. All of this is about wellness moving. It’s about proactively addressing self-care rather than attempting to live through or suppress feelings, which only works for so long.
Breathe
You can also do a technique known as diaphragmatic breathing to help with stress or anxiety. This technique is known as deep breathing or abdominal breathing. Deep breathing is an excellent technique for anywhere, and it costs nothing. During the holidays, people “go like crazy” and will try to push themselves through whatever tasks they have. But then it wipes them out. Deep breathing, holding oxygen in your lungs, improves oxygen exchange. Your oxygen blood goes up. And then that happens, and you begin to relax. You can find free instructions and videos on deep breathing online.
Share the happy memories.
Besides stress, the holidays can also be a time of grief as people think of loved ones who are no longer with us. You don’t want to be submerged in grief, but it doesn’t help to ignore it because you are still going to feel it.” One of the common pieces of advice is a clever track called reminiscence therapy. The concept is to note loss and bereavement but not linger over sad times. Only look for good times. Individuals must honor a good memory of a person in their life. Speak about them, share, tell stories.”
Connect with community
Loneliness can affect your health negatively. Holidays can intensify loneliness, particularly for those without family or living far from family or friends. If you don’t have one of those, her advice: get out there and find one. People find community in various ways, she says - churches, clubs, meetups, volunteering, cultural centers, LGBTQ centers, and more. Finding a community isn’t easy these days, but it’s so important. You talk to people, socialize, and feel good about what you are doing. And it is good for you.
Call or text 988 for help.
If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis, help is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by calling or texting 988 from a mobile phone. For more information about the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, visit their website. If you need counseling in Albuquerque, NM, call Healthy Families of Albuquerque at 505-842-9911 today.
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