What are the Top Signs I Need Grief Counseling?

Loss is something that happens to all of us in this life. It's such a strange experience in that it's one that everyone will go through, and yet, when we are in the midst of loss, we tend to feel so alone.

Grief counseling can help you feel less alone.

It can also help you work through your grief so that you can eventually move on. You'll be prompted to make sense of the loss in your life and to think about how to honor and celebrate the person you’ve lost while also making new plans and goals for your own life. If you find yourself wondering, “Do I need grief counseling?” the answer is probably yes.

Do I need grief counseling?

Here are some of the best indicators that you may need grief counseling:

You Have Experienced Loss

Counseling is helpful to anyone who has experienced a loss. Of course, many people grieve without going to counseling. Regardless, it is rough, and counseling can help you make it through the period almost every time.

You don't have to wait until sadness has hijacked your life before you go to grief counseling.

When to seek counseling for grief. There is no right or wrong time to get counseling for grief. Also, you have to remember that people experience a wide variety of losses. Your lament may not be that of a human's death. People also get counseling to cope with loss related to:

·         The death of a pet

·         Divorce and separation, especially if you won’t be part of each other’s lives again

·         Family trauma and abuse, needing to cut certain people out of your life

·         Being fired from a job you adored

·         Home is destroyed because of natural or man-made causes

·         A body part or function is lost because of sickness, accident, or age.

This is a different kind of grief counseling, but no less necessary. You can benefit from bereavement therapy at any point after a loved one passes away.

You're Feeling Like You're Unable to Move On

We all go through grief. Unfortunately, it’s a universal condition. There’s no proper mourning period.

Some people begin feeling that life is “back to normal” (or some version of a “new normal”) relatively soon. That takes other people a lot longer to grieve. It’s fine to grieve at your own pace.

But that sort of pain should begin to fade with time, eventually allowing you to feel joy again when you think of your friend or hear your loved one's favorite song. If it seems like that day will never come, you might want to consider seeking grief counseling.

Your life is different since you lost a loved one. But — and you never died.

If you've had the life knocked out of you and there feels like nothing to look forward to, grief counseling can help you get unstuck.

Generally speaking, if you’re over a year out from the loss and still feel like you can’t move on, it’s a good idea to get some counseling.

You’ve “Moved On” A Little Too Well

In other words, if you've avoided processing your grief at all, then you're asking for trouble down the line. If you push the loss down and away, then you haven't worked with it; it never goes away – it will pop up at you from behind rocks in unexpected, off-guard moments.

One major clue that you are doing this is by constantly repeating, "I'm fine." You would say it to other people, or you might say it to yourself in your mind.

Similarly, whenever you reduce your loss, you're likely dodging. For example, you might hear things like, "Well, we all have to die sometime."

Another red flag is if you go out of your way to avoid any reminders of the person you've lost. If you aren't spending time at the places you used to go to together, have their photos up in your house, and change the station when a song you both enjoyed comes on the radio, then you are likely in denial of your grief.

Grief Interferes with Your Work

Of course, you will likely be in a fog after someone you love dies. But it could take a while to get back in the standard groove of things. But if it's been a few months and you're struggling to return to a reasonably normal state of functioning, then yes, you will want to reach out for help.

Especially when something like your work or schoolwork is seriously affected, this is seriously impacted, then grief counseling is the answer.

For example, if you have failed a class or been demoted because you couldn't function due to grief, then you might need someone to help you. Counseling can help you work through not only the grief holding you back, but also give you new skills and techniques to use that can help you when you are ready to get out there and improve work performance as you process your grief.

You Have Symptoms of Depression

Grief is not depression. But grief can become depression. If you begin experiencing symptoms of clinical depression, you need to get help. Adapted differences between grief and depression include the following principles:

·         In grief, your focus is on the loss. In depression, you focus on yourself.

·         In depression, individuals experience guilt, worthlessness, and low self-esteem. In bereavement, for example, you may feel guilt briefly, but otherwise your sense of self is undamaged.

·         You're capable of some up-and-down pleasure, hope, and interest during grief. When we hurt, we usually do better with the people we love, not so with depression.

·         Depressed people feel numb or have no emotions, and people grieving feel a variety of emotions.

·         If you have thoughts of death when grieving, they are because you miss the person you lost and want to be with them. With depression, you want not to have pain or feel like you don't deserve to live.

If at any point you start to feel depressed, do not write it off as “normal grief.” They very well might be part of your grieving process, but you don’t have to put up with them, nonetheless. Grief counseling can help.