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What Are the Signs That Counseling Is Working?

  • Writer: Kevin Kenealy
    Kevin Kenealy
  • May 12
  • 3 min read

It takes real courage to start therapy, particularly if you’ve never done it before. Counseling typically calls on you to dig deep within yourself to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses and to process painful trauma.


Therapy also asks you to work hard to build better coping mechanisms and new skill sets so that your relationships with others might flourish.


But how can you tell if therapy is working for you? Read on for five signs that your therapy sessions are making a positive difference.


You Feel Better

One of the most apparent signs that therapy is working is that you feel better in your everyday life. This feeling may be obvious or more subtle. You might, for instance, feel like your life is less frazzled or that fog on a complicated road ahead is lifting. Your inner critic may not be as savage, and you may start to notice more beauty in the world around you.


You’re Feeling Supported by Your Therapist

Our therapists are not our “best friends” and do not always say what we want to hear. But a good therapist can help you feel more supported and be a trusted confidant. You know therapy is working if your therapist permits you to start the process of trust again — or perhaps for the first time. You feel safe here, even as you are tested.

Interestingly, studies show that therapy works best when the patient responds to the mental health professional treating them. This counters the stereotype of the anonymous analyst who sits behind the client on the couch and whose presence is like a blank slate.


Your Blind Spots Are Starting to Come Into Focus

We all have certain blind spots or recurring styles of maladaptive, unhelpful, or destructive thinking or behaving that you may not see, but others do. Therapists help you uncover those perceptual blind spots that can create blockages in your daily life.

Identifying reactive responses to an outdated world creates a new space for being more effective and fulfilled.


Identifying those possible blind spots can be painful, and you may even feel resistant to accepting that these blind spots exist. But when they begin to come clear, you’ll have “a-ha!” moments that can offer a sense of where things have gone awry in past differences.


Your Relationships Are Getting Better

Better relationships at home, with your partner, with your friends, and even at work mean that therapy is working for you. When we can process our pain and create new skills and coping mechanisms, we are better equipped to engage with others.

Not every relationship will be ideal, but you may feel significantly more patient, empathetic, and understanding towards others. You’ll also have better-developed problem-solving skills, enabling you to navigate difficult moments with others more easily.


You’re Unlearning Some Bad Coping Strategies

It isn’t always necessary to dwell on childhood trauma. However, it can still be valuable to pinpoint how we attempted to make sense of the world as children so we can unlearn some coping mechanisms we developed to survive.


Some get ostentatious and make a big show of it. Some pull back and go into approval-seeking mode. Those become subconscious patterns of behavior and thought that may or may not become something that works for us in adulthood.


In the end, once we have unlearned these unhealthy habits, we can move on to become independent, prosperous, and happy. Ingrained habits don’t go away easily, but if they’re beginning to come apart at the seams, it could mean therapy is doing its job.


Final Thoughts from Healthy Families Albuquerque

Therapy is an opportunity to gain a greater understanding of who you are—even the blind spots or aspects of yourself that you might not want to examine.

Successful therapy takes commitment, effort, and a willingness to explore, and work toward change.

 

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